Helloo Winter Wear

HI :)

Today was a good day because I got to go shopping for winter clothes and actually found clothes I liked and can't WAIT to wear. Man. I love the cold weather. Getting all bundled up! Waking up and moving to the window to look up at the overcast winter sky which looks like a whole bunch of shredded cotton balls. Touching the glass and having it fog beneath your too warm fingers...realizing it's going to be biting and having to put on more layers to keep warm till you're extremely cozy and can face the frosty wind outside.
Having an excuse to wear the coolest hats ever. I love the jux. of the bitter coldness against my face and being completely warm everywhere else. I like when my nose and cheeks turn pink and being able to warm them with just a couple seconds touch from my wolly hands. Then coming in the house with that welcoming scent an active fireplace radiates and curling up close to it while the whole family watches tv in the living room. It's very contenting.

P. S. If you want to get on my good side [or possibly sweep me off my feet...a girl can fantasize], invest in a thick, warm, cozy, wide, any color but solid brown [since brown & black are no no's], cute scarf fo mee.

P. P. S. That's me last year. As much as I wanted to, I didn't jump into my coat and take a picture for the sake of this post. I'm not that obsessive



yet.

Sociology in the Now

Hi
Got some thoughts to expel, so lets get to et.

More specifically, One Awkward Moment. Brought to you by PBS Kids.

Ok. So. I was at UTArlington [ugh] and I had finished meeting w/the honors college adviser. I asked her where I needed to go to turn in my AP scores. She said Davis Hall and literally pointed me in the "right" direction. So I wander around campus for a while. Sort of a long while..without really paying much attention to where I was going as it was hot and I had thought to wear my crimson cardigan so as to make a good impression. So in short, I made myself miserable. After circling the same building twice, which I was only made aware of as I passed the same average-looking guy smoking a cigarette by the entrance and giving me a hearty stare for the second time, I see a small group of adults I assumed to be teachers around the back of another building. It was a small man, an older woman with white hair, and this hauss of a lady with a frizzy plate of hair in a long ponytail down her back. I waited politely while they finished their conversation; the hauss looking at me from time to time. Then she started walking my way. I asked her where to find Davis Hall. She was nice and gave me clear directions. I thanked her and she assured me it was her pleasure and I said goodbye and we both started to go on our way when I find that her way is in the exact same direction as mine. So...we're walking silently next to each other about 6 feet away in the same direction, just starring ahead or to at the ground. After about a minute of this she enters a building.

It was really awkward. We had just finished being so polite to each other and we both probably would have walked away feeling dignified in our own cordiality when we then proceed to simply ignore each other for about a minute. It's just times like these that the quirks of the civilized human nature pops out at you.

There was another one but I've forgotten it.
Laterssssesesres

I vs. Me

hey
so i think i'm guna tone it down for now. for this post anyways. with the capitalization at least. i mean its much too far for me right now. gads.

so yeahhhhhhhhh. my boredom has brought me here. i hate this. the whole day i've felt like i had just woken up and my day hadn't even begun. then i glance at the clock in the bottom right hand of the screen (as i spend most of my time on the computer nowadays) and groan as the time is much too close to darkness once again. my days are now like that one glorious scene in The Matrix: Revolutions. its my favorite part in the whole movie. where Neo and Trinity are being chased by those spider-droids in the Machine City near the end, and the whole time the pollution and smog blots out the sun so completely and hopelessly. and then, suddenly, they go up higher and higher to escape the robots that are right on their tail till FINALLY they break free of the clouds of filth and see the sun fleetingly for the first time in their lives. the real, true, natural, beautiful, ethereal sun. not the computer-generated circle of light they see in the matrix. i always tear up.

yeah. so. i feel like most of my time is in darkness. the darkness of sleep, dreams, evening; that i only catch a fleeting glimpse at the warm summer sun before being plunged into darkness again. le sigh. i'll change. i've got to.

hmm what else...learned a lot more grammar today! that's one little thing about me: i really like learning about grammar and do it in my spare time when a question arises. i like being proper about it and i find it fascinating. they're like little sacred secrets. English teachers swear by them (O for the love of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary...), and it seems like none but them know of all the secrets. i mean...how can you not be awed? its beautiful.
okay, maybe that's a bit toooo far.
I also like being incredulous. hah. but I've found that if you do it verbally, people think you have a problem.

I think that's all for now. Hrrmm. Looks like toning it down went out the window. This post has clearly cheered me up. Thanks, post.

Yo

I checked my e-mail today and found that I had one from UTA saying I had to complete this Alcohol education course online and that I was supposed to have done it by yesterday, but that they were giving me an extension. How very generous of them. And, not having anything to do, I did it.
Words have not yet been invented that can accurately describe it's tedious gayocity. For example, this was one little skit:

Spikey-haired Hipster: No, no, his early stuff was the best. It was classic and full of substance.
Girl with Ugly Bangs: I respectfully disagree. His new stuff is daring and pushes the limits!
SH: Well, we can agree to disagree then.
GUB: Agreed.
Unkempt Hippy Guy: What's the debate about?
GUB: FAMILY GUY, SEASONS 1 VS. 5
UHG: O SEESON 1 IS DEF BETTR GAIZ! THE KOOL-AID MAN, DUHZ!
SH: AI KNO! THATZ WHAT I SAIZ! BAAAAAAAAAM! HA HA HA!

Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhsdklfaj;sdljfasdjfja;dfioweurjk;

then they went on to say the senior class president was just arrested for DUI.

They'd rather kids get themselves killed committing suicide to their faggy film than by drinking alcohol. I get it.

But there was a part that made me laugh. They asked how many of the following did I know who suffered from severe alcoholism and they had spaces next to parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and cousins so that you could type a number to tell how many. I put zero for all of them and then went back and changed the aunts and uncles number to 99. MUHAHAHAHAAAHAAAAAA.

Hehhhh.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...soo. I was listening to Final Fantasy just a second ago, but I just changed it to Miami Ice. So far so gooood.

Upcoming Show Calendar (so I won't forget)

Why? - Granada - Sept 9th
Ratatat - Granada - Sept 16th
The Office - NBC - Sept 25th (9/8c)
Girl Talk - The Loft - Oct 23th
Deerhoof - Granada - Nov 7th
Of Montreal - House of Blues - Nov 14th

That's a big chunk of change. But also, a big chunk of happiness.
:)

XD

Hellooo.

I'm feeling oddly optimistic and chipper at the moment. Confident for the first time in a little while.

Hmmm..now that I think about it, there was something that's made this day a little special. I watched a makeup tutorial on youtube this morning on how to get a 'natural look' and found that I had already been doing everything it talked about. I didn't feel out of the know, or overwhelmed by the crazy tools and names and brands the girl used. It was like a big sigh of relief. I was an insider for once in my life. I've only had a handful of these moments since starting school, but recently they've become more frequent, but I can't help but feel reverence each and everytime. I mean, it's really that important to me.

See, ever since 2nd or 3rd grade, I've been a tomboy. I didn't like trying to pretend I was girly or pretty. Really low self esteem, as you can imagine. But I tried to cover up how vulnerable I was by dressing "tough" I guess. Anyway, that didn't really help my issues. My so-called friends that I had were more interested in what entertainment I could give them than actually caring about me as a person, and for a long time I felt like I had no personality and was always lonely. I never invited my "friends" to my house. I think it was partly because I didn't know if they would really come.

I mean, looking back, I did have aquaintances back then that turned into real solid friendships later on in jr.high and high school, but I couldn't figure which ones were the good friends and which ones weren't. They eventually unmasked themselves anyway.

:) So I'm pretty much in the recovery stages from long ago, which is a big big relief. I still get a little bout of self conciousness and lonliness every once and again, but it's nothing too major. I'm a loner by nature, it's to be expected. And I've just gotten used to the fact that if I'm feeling those abominable feelings, I do have people I can call and just to hang out with. Ones where I don't have to pretend for and be afraid they won't like me for who I really am. It's a scrumtrelescent sort of feeling, am I right?