Cold Steel

There's a long, flat piece of wood running from my sternum to my gut.

Summer's been nice so far. Light and airy. No real concerns, save for my normal worries about The Future. I only wish I was able to pin down a job to keep my mind from reverting back to thoughts I'd much rather forget. I must get my brain occupied with something. Perhaps I'll redo my room soon. That sounds time consuming AND frustrating!

Of all the knobs and switches and levers made in the world throughout History, why couldn't just one of them be used to turn off certain memories or emotions? I mean really, make yourselves useful, inventors. Get out your Tesla coil and break my brain. If you can't fix the oil leak, this is the next best thing. You'd think world hunger would outrank Memory Destroyer in this. You are wrong. So just sit in your wrongness and be wrong.

Maybe I'll just turn into an alcoholic. It's the new heroin-chic.

By the way, I really think soldiers under 21 should be allowed to drink themselves into a temporary coma after blasting the heads off of civilians. It's only fair.

Shutter Island is so damn good. I've seen it twice now and it's already become one of my favorite movies. It's just exciting. I read that it was supposed to come out in October as Oscar-bait, but that the Paramount execs figured it would make much more sense to release it in February. They were right in that it made much more money than it probably would have, and definitely stood out amongst the crowd of forgettable romantic comedies and kid's movies, but they also assumed it wouldn't have done so well in the awards arena, either. I just folded my arms and scowled.

Sure, the movie was a bit predictable, but it was stunning and extremely well made. There should be no doubt of it's superiority over Avatar, which is little more than a particularly vivid acid trip, remembering a bedtime story while staring idly at your Blue Russian. BOOM.

Uh, anyway. I'm making pizza today at a house that is not my own. BONJOVI!

A Jaded Necklace

Of all the things in Austin that are great, I love the names of all the small businesses here.

Juan in a Million, Hey Cupcake!, Sugar Mama's, Home Slice, Magnolia Cafe.

So, finals week next week. Have a final essay due by Tuesday and two exams on Wednesday. I could come back Thursday...MEH. I probably won't. I don't really know what I'll do. I don't have any money to spend. The friends I made will be gone already. The only thing I really haven't done is take my bike around. Guess I could do that.

I'm not really looking forward to summer. Sure, no more studying or stressing about grades, but nothing else to take up my time, either. I can't take anymore summer classes as I've transfered over too much. I need a job. But I really don't want one. Like on a scale of 1-10, 10 being really want and 1 being not at all, it's a 1. I don't want a job.

But my irresponsibility this semester is part of the reason I must get one. It truly is all my fault. I guess I accept that.

I need another haircut. Somehow I went in for a trim (against my will I might add) and came out with something completely different. I don't know my own hair anymore. I might as well had scalped myself and my roommate while she was asleep and switched hairsnotreally.

Uh. So I'm mainly updating because I should be finding definitions for this psychology exam prep thing.

What else. Oh. Well, I've had to deal a lot with someone suffering from a lack of willpower. I've really never seen so much apathy, even from myself which is saying something. Not a big something, as I do work hard when I need to, but a little something. For me, when I feel my ennui beginning to hurt my grades or anything else, I'll snap into overachieving overdrive for a while until they're back on course. I do the literally the least amount possible to get where I want to go. I like to be efficient.

Well I guess that's enough rambling for today. See ya next time!

A Momentous Occasion

Best weekend of the year, (one of the best in my life, actually) followed by the most horrible week of the year thus far. Simply terrible. But that's not the point of this post.

This post is to document what I've eaten today. This is a turning point. The start of a whole new me. I couldn't be more excited to begin this journey.

Breakfast: Air.
Lunch: Dollops of Vanilla, Pistachio, and Pomegranate frozen yogurt with almonds, mochi balls, sprinkles, coconut shavings, and a cherry (for the vitamins).
Dinner: Three brownies with chocolate icing and almonds.
-Nap to soak in the various fat molecules I might accidentally burn off watching Youtube videos.
Second Dinner: Bottle of Green Tea from the vending machine, with a bag of New! Cheez-It's BAKED Snack Mix: Extra Hot & Spicy (its contents are similar to Gardettos, just catered to the most awful people who buy snack mixes).

Because of these real life choices, my stomach has become sentient. I feel like it's trying to claw itself out of my abdomen. I really hope it succeeds. I'm rootin' for ya, old pal. I'm rootin' for ya.

Well! Off to start my Philosophy paper at 2 AM! Did I mention it's a third of my grade? 'CUZ IT IS!

Holy Jeez

Zounds! I am really, really pressed for time, so I thought I'd post a little ditty about how I'm pressed for time. The amount of stress hormone (cortisol) coursing through my veins right now is at the perfect point for creativity.

I enjoy this feeling. I hate getting to it, admittedly. And curse myself later for waiting to get stressed out, but I'm getting something done, at last. And I like what I'm getting done. I remember now why I love English. I realize now that this prof does not assign enough papers. I hated writing one a day in the summer at first, but I came to not mind it, and then to kind of enjoy it. I miss that now. It really improved my writing.

OK. Please wish me luck for tomorrow. I'm playing some part in Othello at 8am. Even if you dont' read this till much later, wish me luck anyway.

DO IT.

YYYYEAH.

So it's been two weeks since I said I'd update every week. Sorry 'bout that, y'awll.

This past week was Spring Break and SXSW. I didn't get a wristband or anything. It was just me and three, sometimes four friends going to free shows around Austin. Was really awesome, duh.

If you are a cool person, you recognize that burly comedian in the picture with me and a couple o'friends as Eugene Mirman. Look at us standin' there. We're practically twins.

If you're NOT a cool person, get cool now. (You're welcome.)

In all seriousness though, it was so much fun. One of my best Spring Breaks ever.

+++

Found a quote today that I really needed to read.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer. ~Jim Carrey

I've just been questioning what it is I want to attain at the end of my senior year of college, only a couple years away. It's too easy to forget what gives life quality. A big pillar of the culture I've been raised in, and in fact, in most cultures, is financial stability. That makes sense, of course. But it's emphasized so relentlessly, we think more money invariably equates to better life quality. At least at some point in our lives, and not just for a day. It's difficult to reject that ideal when it's constantly and consistently being reinforced. Things like that quote help to remember reality.

Anyhow, Happy Go-Back-To-School-You-Miscreant-Kids Week!