I'm about to get ready for work. I am in a weird limbo state right now where I have too much and too little time to do what I want.

I don't have enough time to watch any of the TV I've missed for the past two weeks now. It's just sitting in my TiVo, all shiny and unspoiled. Like little gifts. I should just not watch any of my TV till Christmas morn. That'd probably make for the best Christmas I'll ever have.

I saw two people on scooters today, and they both slipped off of them while I was watching. I hate seeing people loose face. I also hate how funny I still think it was.

That is all.

My Theory of Relativity

Maybe, if I can wrap myself in enough sheets and blanket folds, time will be forced to gently skip over my plush cocoon--my soft little pocket in time.

MOVE

Today was the first day of uni. Only had one class, but it was no less nerve-wracking.

Afterward, I went to the library to check on the book I've been stalking on eBay for one of my classes. While sulking about how many times it'd been bid on since I'd last seen it, the man using the computer next to me asked for help on how to delete his messages. He was one of those "continuing education" people. I mean, I don't have anything against them. Hell, more power to them. But they also seem to be the most computer-retarded people I've ever met besides my own mother.

The thing that got me was that he kept right clicking. As if every problem could be solved by right clicking and choosing something from that little window. I admit, that'd save a lot of trouble, but he was incessant with that freaking button. I think he thought they had to be pressed together. How cute.

"If you click that top box, it'll check all your messages for you."
"Oh, alright."
Clicks the box, and despite all the messages being selected, he then right clicks just to be safe.
"Hmm..'Select All', that's what I'm tryin' ta do!"
Click. Now everything is highlighted.

He does that 2 more times. It was all I could do from going Nick Burns on him.

We eventually figured it out. He was nice about it too, I really just need to have more patience with everyone. I could blame it on me being hyped up with it being the first day and all, but I generally have little patience with people who don't know what they're doing anyway.

P.S. inb4 Macs. Still would've found a way to not understand.

And then there were..

Reason for the last tear shed?
Chlorine in eyes.

Someone who means a great deal to you?
If I know you, you mean a great deal. If I don't, you're worthless.

Do you listen to songs about drugs?
Are there other kinds?

Anything you want to confess?
Yeah, I stole the good chair, Mr. Manager. And I loved every minute of the lumbar support.

Highlight of your day?
That guy that came in that didn't need a reciept.

Felt a sense of guilt lately?
Yes.

Want something badly?
Something to do.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Especially when they're all nonchalant about it. Makes me feel like I'm in Grease.

Who was the last person of the same sex you shared the same bed with?
Probably Sarah..it's been a while.

Which of your friends do you argue with the most?
Eh.

What is something you like to do when you're down?
I really like feeling sorry for myself. But buying myself something or doing some kind of physical activity seems to cheer me up.

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive, THEN forget. I think.

What is one thing you must have in a relationship?
2 people. Min.

Do you think anyone's thinking about you right now?
That mosquito is like, toooootally checkin' me out.


Is there something that you want to tell someone but can't?
Not really.

Do you find yourself attractive?
I have moments. They're fleeting, but they're there.

Where's your ideal vacation and why?
Ideal vacation is anywhere with good friends. Also, Europe or Japan or Australia or anywhere not here.

What's the most pain you've experienced physically or emotionally?
I sure do hate those charlie horses.

Do you believe in second chances?
I guess.

If there was something you could do over, what would it be?
There are probably some conversations that didn't need to happen.

What's the biggest turn off?
Stupidity. Also, bad breath.

Do you have any special talents?
Maybe.

What helps you relax?
Quiet.

Did the last person you kissed deserve it?
Come to think of it, Grandmother didn't do any special tricks that last time.

Do you think you can possibly be with the person you love forever?
Why couldn't I? I'd give them food at LEAST twice a day down there.

How do you feel about yourself as a person?
I'm pretty okay.

What do you have planned for your life?
Not really anything.

Can you honestly say that looks don't matter?
No, I can't. You can't either. No one can. Those who do are lying. But just because they matter, doesn't make them the most important things by default. Once you get to know someone, they're physical flaws should be easy to overlook (hopefully). Within reason, of course. They can't have like an secret extra hand coming out of their back or anything. Watch my true love have an extra secret hand coming out of their BUTT.

Would you rather hear the painful truth or a happy lie?
I'd secretly want the lie.

What really irritates you?
Noses on smiley faces. :-)? I mean, c'mon.

Is there someone you're attracted to?
I'm sure.

Is it hard for you to let something go that you know isn't right for you?
That's so vague. I can tell you right now though, that I wouldn't have any trouble "letting go" of a rattle snake or something like that.

Have you ever taken anyone for granted?
I'm a teenager.

Do you think being "heart broken" is as bad as people say?
It's definitely not better.

Have you ever been in love? How'd that end up?
Kind of. It didn't end well.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Not really. Fate = coincidence. Most of the time.

Can you describe your ideal guy/girl?
I could.

What's the best part of being in a relationship?
Yeah, you would ask that question, survey.

Have you ever loved someone you knew you shouldn't?
Oh, that Tom Riddle..

In a tough situation, why do people want advice but don't listen to it?
Because they don't want advice, just someone to complain to. DUH!

Ergonomics

The internet. Vast improvement in the way we give and take information, but with the good comes the bad. There's a lot I'd rather not know about. Sometimes I wish I'd chosen to stay in my cave and watch shadows go by. Ignorance is truly bliss.

I'm so sleepy. I think my boss is getting back at me for taking some time off by not giving me the amount of hours I had requested. I'll have to talk to him and see what the deal is. My mom is already beginning to hound me to look for another job, because apparently I have to enjoy every minute of it or quit. I'd agree with that if checking people out was something I was intending on making a career out of.

On that note, ha. Still as lost as ever.

my my my my my

It's sure been a while.
It's summer now, finals were over about two weeks ago. And I've been lethargic and practically broke ever since.

But! I got a job at a textbook store. I start the training tomorrow. I need to conserve my monies.

I'm also going to be starting summer school soon.

Uhhhhhhtrying to be more active lately. I guess. I just don't want this summer to end up being like last years.


BYE.

Dans la nuit..

I got the biggest, warmest, coziest, snuggliest sweater ever today. I only paid $5 for it too. God I love clearance sales. And the weather's been so crappy lately, I'll be able to wear it before next November.

Getting addicted to 4chan. The word faggot is now a lot more accessible in my immediate vocabulary. I'm probably going to end up living in my parent's basement, and our house doesn't have one, so that gives you an idea of my conviction.

Sold my first item evar on ebay! The other person got a deal. But I found one today with that sweater so it all works out I 'spose.

I haven't been able to get this song out of my head since I heard it. It's pretty.

HAPPY BARFDAY, SARAH

blah blah blah










I ate horribly today and last night. Never eat Extreme Moose Tracks ice cream before bed. I've had dreams before that I thought were real life, but not like this. It was scary accurate.

Man. Food. It'll get you down. Literally. We're talking gravity here.

I've read the books that you love reading..

It's like I know what I want, but am too blinded by what I think I need to admit it to myself.

What's so wrong with getting what you want? That's really my biggest internal conflict: I don't think I should get what I want. I guess I think that normally, what people need is never what they want..how depressing.


But I've figured it out a little. And hopefully things will get rolling. Going to try and find a job this summer, along with enrolling in some summer courses.



Went to Dan Deacon's show at the Ft. Worth Museum of Art. Was amazing as always. He's always so interactive, go to one of his shows if you can, you won't be disappointed. He literally makes you have a great time. Two words: the Gauntlet.

So anyway. I need money.

Metrocard-ed dead

Back to school.

Spent spring break in New York.

If you have my facebook, all the pictures are in 4 albums. Find them here: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=1515120847 and if you're not friends with me on facebook, what are you waiting for?!

I do have an..experience that I could share. I have more than one buuuut this one takes it.

Canal Street. On the outskirts of the heart of China town, this street is notorious for impressivly realistic knock-offs. Going, I wasn't sure how I'd be able to get myself in on this action. But I didn't have to wonder too long before a random asian woman turned about and said, "You like Prada?" Who doesn't, my friends, who doesn't.

The first time, this lady just took us to another lady that had the items, but the SECOND time. Man. (I didn't get anything from the first lady, and I really didn't want to leave without something to show for coming here.) The second lady took us to what looked like a perfume shop. Inside, there were other primarily female and touristy looking people waiting around for something. As soon as the coast was clear, this old man comes around and pushes the wall aside, showing a door with stairs leading down into utter darkness. Another old lady was hurriedly ushering all of us inside and down the steps. I felt like I was hiding from the Nazis. We then entered this small room, covered from ceiling to overflowing on to the floor with designer purses and bags, and it was amazing. Got a good deal, too.

So. Spring has broken. It doesn't really feel like it yet, though. Eh.

I'd always wanted to watch Dateline: To Catch a Predator when it was a big thing, but never did. Recently though, largely because I've been finding it harder and harder to find entertaining things to do online, I remembered it and searched for it on youtube. I've now watched like..4 or 5 episodes and man, is it uncomfortable. We humans sure like our public humiliations. I feel ashamed of myself each time after watching the perp realize the amount of real trouble he's in. It's like a modern-day Scarlet Letter.

Some are worse than others, though. Like that doctor guy. And all the army guys. Especially the young and married ones. Sheeshhhhhhhhhhh. But then there are the creepy older guys that are in their 40's and 50's. It's gross..but still. I don't know, I just feel bad. That's show business, though.


People, man. We all have some kind of flaw or another. I know it's human, but it's also annoying.

It's just reality

A friend posted a link to this video as his status on Facebook and now I can't get the song out of my head. The style of animation is awesome, too. Reminds me of really really old cartoons.


Story from North America from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

I found out more about Kirsten Lepore, one of the animators and she's awesome. Her work is great.


Anyway, here's something that happened and which I've been thinking about:

It is much more disgusting/frightening for someone to say "Excuse me," and you not hear or smell anything, than if they had just let one rip. I mean, the imagination goes into bodily-function-possibility overdrive. I don't even wanna KNOW what made them say "Excuse me," but I wouldn't be able to stop my mind from exploring the dark, dank depths of possibility.

Do that next time you're on an elevator.

I get more and more homosexual the more I type this post for some reason..

Hey sup.

Haven't updated in more than a week so I figured I might as well.

Unfortunately, it's just made me realize how sleepy I am...because I still have essay-trauma when I begin to write these. Trying to think of interesting points to talk about just takes me back to the cold, hard desks and chairs of Mrs. Clanton's 11th grade AP English class. With that shaky voice that made her sound like she was on the verge of tears every time she spoke. It was deceiving. She'd unwaveringly stamp F on your paper with her iron fist (because she was a death-robot), and write you notes on why you sucked it up with what I still will swear was blood.

Hmm..well, I did well on my first round of exams.

Oh, and I got a last.fm account. If you'd like to stalk me, my username is rpe7890 .

Can't wait for the Cut Copy show this Saturday. OH yeah. I pre-ordered my ticket for Animal Collective's show on June 4th, and they were supposed to come about a week afterwards via snail mail. But I'd never gotten them, and I didn't really think much of it. As it turns out, my mam almost threw them away today because they had gotten sorted into the junk mail pile. Phew.

Man I canNOT keep my eyes open.

Anyway, I'll try to get pissed off about some random passers-by and make a semi-entertaining post soon.

Follow your dreams!

I would. But with those two guys. We'd have a good time on the way I'll bet.

He has that green eye gene!

-I knowww! I've already picked out our centerpieces! You should add him and marry his brother, he's cute too!

Haha! I don't know..he looks kinda skinnyish.

*her eyes go completely white and glowing, hair stands on end, lightning, the earth splits open in a fiery crack, lava gushes toward the ceiling* NO HE DOESN'T!

..y'all would look good together, though.

-I KNOWWWWW! But he's kinda tallishhh..



Yep. My brief stint at the computer lab before class had that lovely sound track.

Then on the way home, I was stuck behind a truck with two guys that liked to dance to the radio. They were doing The Robot but like 30 times faster than normal. It was actually really funny. But before I could pull up next to them at the stop light and stare into the faces of hilarity, the driver decided to run the light. Easy come, easy gogo.

Parents,

...do not let your daughters read New Moon, and if they absolutely must date a monster, encourage them to go out with a nice zombie, at least he'll be interested in her for her brains.






Happy Valentine's Gay

Warning

This vid has lots of f-bombs and other bombs that are metaphors for bad words.


Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

But it's hella funny.

Yeah yeah yeah

"Oh, it's a good cause!" Whateverwhocares, stupid lady.






I can only get up to level 35 out of 60. How about you?

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

I

can NOT wait. New York City. If anyone has any suggestions forrr sites to see or things to try or do, pleaseeee share. Besides the obvious things, of course. Going to see the statue, time square, central park, hopefully do a rockefeller studios tour, the shopping (H&M i'm lookin at you), and the modern art museum. A show, too.


SPRING BREAK '09...
There just ain't enough time..

I

can't wait to get out of here.

blog inside a blog inside oblong

So for French, the prof wanted us to start a blog on wordpress.com, written wholly in French, as you can imagine.

If you'd like, you can check out my progress at
rpe4186.wordpress.com , though I only have one post so far. I went with the "misty look" skin.

I like that class.


I like most all of my classes. Although, I feel like a jerk because twice now I've been late to my 9:00a political sci class, and had promised to sit with my friend who's been saving me a seat for TWO DAYS NOW. And twice, I've ended up coming in late, and disturbing the class to squeeze behind everyone, making them hate me and curse me to hell in their minds.

Today was particularly special because I got my leg stuck between my seat and the seat of the guy next to me. He wouldn't move, so I had to look physically retarded for about ten whole seconds. It was just embarrassing.

The only thing that made this day alright was about 3 things:

1. My hair didn't look completely gay today.
2. The weather was awesome, to me anyway.
3. Some people laughed at some joke I made in class. Usually when I make a joke, no one but someone who sort of knows me, ever laughs. I think they're so taken aback that I've actually said something. I keep to myself in class pretty often.

Today, my phone didn't work. Like, I couldn't send out calls or texts. It's because the T-mobile people used the money for MY bill, and applied it to my mom's because she was the one making the payment.

So lunch comes, and something happens that I NEED to talk about. And I CAN'T TEXT ANYBODYY. Oh, it was devastating. These people NEEDED to be made fun of. They were practically on their knees, tugging on my sweater with tears in their eyes, begging me to say something. And I couldn't.

It was basically this large guy and skinny girl. Dressed as your average courtyard kid regulars. It was what they were talking about..and then the girl would just burst out in song, just loud enough so that it wasn't to herself. And the guy would either look at her admiringly, or close his eyes, as if savoring the finest wine. Sometimes, he'd ask questions about the song. She'd never answer him, though. She'd just keep singing, and he'd keep asking different questions...maybe she was answering him with her eyes..somehow. You should see my face right now having to relive this.

I mean, I would understand if she COULD sing, or if we were in a large area. But..she couldn't. And we weren't. The room was about the size of a large living room.

Actually, I lied. There's no excuse for her.

It was also pretty maddening because it seemed like I was the only person noticing this. There was a table of middle-aged women talking about Jesus or Christianity..I couldn't really make out a whole sentence, but I'd catch biblical words here and there. But, they couldn't even spare a dissenting look in their directions. And all the while, I'm looking at them with daggers in my eyes, and searching for someone, ANYONE to recognize and share in this hilarity with. I might've had an aneurysm.

S T F U

In Kroger today. Waiting for self checkout. Debating whether to buy that brownie with patriotic sprinkles "in honor" of Obama or not. In the back of my mind, I knew I needed one last thing to make this trip complete.

I had already gotten a gallon of milk, only to find that it had a leak, and was subsequently leaking over everyfreakinthing. And instead of a cart, I got a basket because, according to my brilliant logic, I only needed three things. I didn't count on the fact that a gallon of milk and a liter of soda would equal a whole TON of me struggling to look like I wasn't struggling with my friggin' basket.

So there I am. Waiting in line. Then behind me, a girl answers her phone. I've seen this girl around my highschool. She has a lisp. One of those annoying lisps that are only annoying because the person is. She's the type that buys all the latest fashions from Target, and talks a lot.

Anyway it went like this, "Oh HEY love...NO I'm at Kroger!...oh em gee!! blah blah blah lisp lisp blah more of this type of talking."


I was this close to turning around and asking if she was serious or rehearsing for a more modern version of Grease. The production needs help after all..

so where were the spiderz?

I haven't been able to sleep. It's an ongoing thing now. It sucks. Because I know what's coming.

First day of uni is...tomorrow(technically). Tomorrow. 41 days of laying awake thinking, "Man, what am I gonna do tomorrow? There's nothing to do.." and school is TOMORROW(technically). It's surreal right now. Just the phrase. I guess because I haven't used it in so long. "No, I can't drink drugs with you tonight. I have school tomorrow." What? No. Oh, yeah, that's true. Idk, don't listen to me.

Started reading The Portrait of Dorian Gray by Wilde. After the first few paragraphs, I was wondering where he'd been all my life. There's a paragraph on how real words made things. I'm going to sound extremely gay, but here:

"Music had stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times. But music was not articulate. It was not a new world, but rather another chaos, that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear, vivid, and cruel! One could not escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere words! Was there anything so real as words?"

Words <3.

Travelers Welcome

So yeah, new year. Thank god. 2008 was getting boring and worn out. The ends were starting to fray and there was a gaping hole near the top that always let in a draft. Ugly color, too.

So. Just got back from a 4 day, 3 night vay-cay with my best cuzins. All around the same age an' stuffz. Was gooood. Nice. Loved the city. Coming home, I felt like I was coming home from a semester at university. At least, that's what I kind of imagined as my mom opened the door and proceeded to yell my name every 3 seconds to answer a question or explain parts of the trip in more detail. Liked it a lot, actually. A lot a lot. I mean, it really put the final dots on the I's in my plans, if ya know whattI meann.

Been watching a buttload of youtube vids of peoples vacations in Europe. France, Naples, Helsinki, Austria, Germany. Fills my head with such Romantic thoughts and fantasies that it's almost frustrating not having the resources to fulfill these...desires, I guess..BLEHH

I actually want to get out of my state. Go north. Start fresh. Meet people. Live life.

I was reading about Zach Condon of Beirut, and he supposedly dropped out of highschool at 16 to travel Europe with his brother. I don't think I could do that and it makes me mad in a way. It's what everyone fantasizes about - dropping every mundane thing and having a glorious adventure. The kind they write novels about. But how many actually WOULD? See, most everyone tries to get to success and happiness by neatly and carefully placing stepping stones in front of themselves to get there, with education, financial stability and all that. Most don't opt to choose adventure because then they're placing themselves on a tightrope--more than likely it's going to end badly. But some, and those are the ones you hear the most about and are the most glamorous, walk the rope and end up in the same place as the boring others. The ones that make it get all the awe and envy of everyone. I don't know, it's depressing.

Need to do SOMETHING.