I

can't wait to get out of here.

blog inside a blog inside oblong

So for French, the prof wanted us to start a blog on wordpress.com, written wholly in French, as you can imagine.

If you'd like, you can check out my progress at
rpe4186.wordpress.com , though I only have one post so far. I went with the "misty look" skin.

I like that class.


I like most all of my classes. Although, I feel like a jerk because twice now I've been late to my 9:00a political sci class, and had promised to sit with my friend who's been saving me a seat for TWO DAYS NOW. And twice, I've ended up coming in late, and disturbing the class to squeeze behind everyone, making them hate me and curse me to hell in their minds.

Today was particularly special because I got my leg stuck between my seat and the seat of the guy next to me. He wouldn't move, so I had to look physically retarded for about ten whole seconds. It was just embarrassing.

The only thing that made this day alright was about 3 things:

1. My hair didn't look completely gay today.
2. The weather was awesome, to me anyway.
3. Some people laughed at some joke I made in class. Usually when I make a joke, no one but someone who sort of knows me, ever laughs. I think they're so taken aback that I've actually said something. I keep to myself in class pretty often.

Today, my phone didn't work. Like, I couldn't send out calls or texts. It's because the T-mobile people used the money for MY bill, and applied it to my mom's because she was the one making the payment.

So lunch comes, and something happens that I NEED to talk about. And I CAN'T TEXT ANYBODYY. Oh, it was devastating. These people NEEDED to be made fun of. They were practically on their knees, tugging on my sweater with tears in their eyes, begging me to say something. And I couldn't.

It was basically this large guy and skinny girl. Dressed as your average courtyard kid regulars. It was what they were talking about..and then the girl would just burst out in song, just loud enough so that it wasn't to herself. And the guy would either look at her admiringly, or close his eyes, as if savoring the finest wine. Sometimes, he'd ask questions about the song. She'd never answer him, though. She'd just keep singing, and he'd keep asking different questions...maybe she was answering him with her eyes..somehow. You should see my face right now having to relive this.

I mean, I would understand if she COULD sing, or if we were in a large area. But..she couldn't. And we weren't. The room was about the size of a large living room.

Actually, I lied. There's no excuse for her.

It was also pretty maddening because it seemed like I was the only person noticing this. There was a table of middle-aged women talking about Jesus or Christianity..I couldn't really make out a whole sentence, but I'd catch biblical words here and there. But, they couldn't even spare a dissenting look in their directions. And all the while, I'm looking at them with daggers in my eyes, and searching for someone, ANYONE to recognize and share in this hilarity with. I might've had an aneurysm.

S T F U

In Kroger today. Waiting for self checkout. Debating whether to buy that brownie with patriotic sprinkles "in honor" of Obama or not. In the back of my mind, I knew I needed one last thing to make this trip complete.

I had already gotten a gallon of milk, only to find that it had a leak, and was subsequently leaking over everyfreakinthing. And instead of a cart, I got a basket because, according to my brilliant logic, I only needed three things. I didn't count on the fact that a gallon of milk and a liter of soda would equal a whole TON of me struggling to look like I wasn't struggling with my friggin' basket.

So there I am. Waiting in line. Then behind me, a girl answers her phone. I've seen this girl around my highschool. She has a lisp. One of those annoying lisps that are only annoying because the person is. She's the type that buys all the latest fashions from Target, and talks a lot.

Anyway it went like this, "Oh HEY love...NO I'm at Kroger!...oh em gee!! blah blah blah lisp lisp blah more of this type of talking."


I was this close to turning around and asking if she was serious or rehearsing for a more modern version of Grease. The production needs help after all..

so where were the spiderz?

I haven't been able to sleep. It's an ongoing thing now. It sucks. Because I know what's coming.

First day of uni is...tomorrow(technically). Tomorrow. 41 days of laying awake thinking, "Man, what am I gonna do tomorrow? There's nothing to do.." and school is TOMORROW(technically). It's surreal right now. Just the phrase. I guess because I haven't used it in so long. "No, I can't drink drugs with you tonight. I have school tomorrow." What? No. Oh, yeah, that's true. Idk, don't listen to me.

Started reading The Portrait of Dorian Gray by Wilde. After the first few paragraphs, I was wondering where he'd been all my life. There's a paragraph on how real words made things. I'm going to sound extremely gay, but here:

"Music had stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times. But music was not articulate. It was not a new world, but rather another chaos, that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear, vivid, and cruel! One could not escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere words! Was there anything so real as words?"

Words <3.

Travelers Welcome

So yeah, new year. Thank god. 2008 was getting boring and worn out. The ends were starting to fray and there was a gaping hole near the top that always let in a draft. Ugly color, too.

So. Just got back from a 4 day, 3 night vay-cay with my best cuzins. All around the same age an' stuffz. Was gooood. Nice. Loved the city. Coming home, I felt like I was coming home from a semester at university. At least, that's what I kind of imagined as my mom opened the door and proceeded to yell my name every 3 seconds to answer a question or explain parts of the trip in more detail. Liked it a lot, actually. A lot a lot. I mean, it really put the final dots on the I's in my plans, if ya know whattI meann.

Been watching a buttload of youtube vids of peoples vacations in Europe. France, Naples, Helsinki, Austria, Germany. Fills my head with such Romantic thoughts and fantasies that it's almost frustrating not having the resources to fulfill these...desires, I guess..BLEHH

I actually want to get out of my state. Go north. Start fresh. Meet people. Live life.

I was reading about Zach Condon of Beirut, and he supposedly dropped out of highschool at 16 to travel Europe with his brother. I don't think I could do that and it makes me mad in a way. It's what everyone fantasizes about - dropping every mundane thing and having a glorious adventure. The kind they write novels about. But how many actually WOULD? See, most everyone tries to get to success and happiness by neatly and carefully placing stepping stones in front of themselves to get there, with education, financial stability and all that. Most don't opt to choose adventure because then they're placing themselves on a tightrope--more than likely it's going to end badly. But some, and those are the ones you hear the most about and are the most glamorous, walk the rope and end up in the same place as the boring others. The ones that make it get all the awe and envy of everyone. I don't know, it's depressing.

Need to do SOMETHING.