so heyyyyyy

hello
today 's been very unproductive. i have a test-o-rama and a speech outline due monday and have not done a single thing for it.

watched the duchess today. kira knightly did a pretty grood jrob. but i hate watching films like taht. they always have the same plot lines: loveless marriage, passionately true love that can never be because of the influence of society. it also depresses me because i haven't felt that kind of unbridled passion for anyone and 'the duchess' isn't even 18 in that effin movie. EFF YOU, BIGWIG. SAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US. sheesh.

also. immitation. flattery? or annoyance?
initially the latter. then when you think of it, the former. then you think about it more and it becomes the latter again. like seriusly. where're all the freakin ladders anyway?

hah. yeah. but yeah. we all are stealers of traits and quirks we find in others that we like and want. is it very hypocritical to be annoyed when it becomes obvious someone is stealing ours? hmmm. maybe stealing is a rather harsh word. i guess that pretty much gave away what i think. but i don't know. maybe it depends on what it is? if it's an idea or trait that is "original" then of course...hmm..maybe i'm just being petty. anyway, chew on that one. :)

there's not much new..although i have been in a skirt-buying mood as of laaaaaaate. i used to hate skirts and dresses, but now i feel like i can wear them. plus they're dead comfortable.

arggg. strrrrrrress.
i've been recently feeling like everything i try, i'm mediocre at. not failing horribly but not exactly excelling. average. boring. expected. blanddd. i want to be the best at something. i want to find my niche.
admittedly, i've spruced by "options tree" if you will. i'm more inclined to right brain jobs. more creative and artsy fartsy.

i think my want to be naturally the best at something stems from laziness, actually. i don't want to have to work at something. and that's retarded. just plain retarded. i'm ashamed.

I CAN DO IT! SI SE PUEDE! YES I CAN! I'LL SHUT UP!
i'm sleepy and can seriously feel the effin cortisol rushing in my brain when i think about all the effing work i haven't even beGUN. EFF.

peace out.

p.s. i think i will start doing like "motif of the week" because, and i'm not the only one who feels like this, there seems to be a string of similar occurances, whether it be a name, a color, a word, an object, a person, that happen to crop up coincidentally around the same time but only lasts a short while.
this week has been imitation. hoorah. i'm cool. that is awl.